My time in Colorado (Part 2)

I didn't know quite know what to expect when I got to the campus, but I was excited and had high hopes that I would be able to excel with four weeks of coaching. Little did I know I was going to deal with a serious set back. The horse I brought with me, Major, is a right-brain extrovert who've I had for many years. I use to take personal lessons (before Parelli) with him, go on trail rides, and did minor shows with him. He would be cool as a cucumber when I took him to these places and acted like his normal, relaxed self. However, when I brought him to the Parelli ranch I took a different horse off the trailer than one i had put on. He became extremely insecure and found safety and comfort with my mothers horse, Skeeter, and not myself.
     I did not notice how severe this attachment to my mothers horse was until we took them apart. My mom would take her horse out of the stall to get some water, which was about 30 feet from Majors stall, and Major started pacing and screaming constantly until Skeeter came back or Major was taken to him. My first day there my mom had Skeeter out in one of the playgrounds and I had to get something from the tack room, I brought Major with me and put him in his stall so I could run in the tack room and come right back. Major started pacing and screaming again for Skeeter. When I was heading back to him, he jumped out of his stall from a stand still, caught his hind legs on the chain and took off at a gallop across the Parelli campus - making a B-line right to Skeeter, and halted right next to him and wouldn't move. I had to walk across the campus and get my horse with students and instructors asking if I was okay the entire walk back. Major didn't attempt to run off while I got him either. It was so embarrassing and I felt so deflated. Never before had I seen this type of behavior from my horse and I didn't know what to do.  I had to deal with this behavior my entire four weeks.

Major and Skeeter were together for most of the course

        After that day I felt like everyone was keeping an especially close eye on me - instructors mostly. At first I took this as a negative sign. I felt as if I looked like a jackass who couldn't even control her horse and needed to be babysat and not allowed to do the stuff the majority of the class was doing. I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. It was so frustrating because I knew what Major was capable of and I couldn't do half of it because of his extreme emotions.  I tried not to compare myself to any other students, but damn at least their horses were relaxed and not screaming. It was like being a mother in grocery store who had a child that was throwing a fit. I was at a loss what to do. I was feeling self-conscious, my self esteem took a hit, and I started to question everything I was doing.. even my dreams of continuing with horses. Thankfully though, I was in the best place to be for a person in my kind of situation.

     It took be a bit to shake the negative emotions away. I don't like being negative, I find its just not the way to live life and negativity can block you off from real progression and happiness. I started to take the reason on why I was being watched (or I felt like I was being so closely watched) by instructors no longer as a negative sign on how terrible I thought I was, but because I had the most extreme right brained horse in the class and they just want me to be safe. The Parelli campus is a truly special place - they are so positive and supportive. I was so worried I was going to be ridiculed by the instructors or fellow students - but that never happened. It was quite the opposite. They all gave me the knowledge, the support, the guidance and positive thinking I needed.
      I have so much more I'd like to say, but I feel like I should end this now as most of my blogs - its becoming quite lengthy. I'll expand more on my personal journey at the campus with Major next.